Controversy and Conflict

This week was a busy week for Controversy and Conflict.

Let's begin with Case #1.

I'm not completely convinced that Discrimination was at work here.. in fact, I'm pretty sure it wasn't! But some passionate (read hot headed) homeschoolers cried Discrimination over a a Subway Sandwich Contest. Here's the deal in a nutshell... Subway and Scholastic teamed up to hold a contest, wherein kids from Kindergarten through 6th grade would write a little story based on writing prompts. The Grand Prize was $5,000 in athletic equipment to go to the winners school. Simple enough. Now here comes the problem. The rules state that the contest was open to every child in public, private or parochial school... and then it drops the bomb. It says in no uncertain terms that NO HOMESCHOOLS WILL BE ACCEPTED.

As you can imagine, many homeschoolers read this to mean, NO HOMESCHOOLERS WILL BE ACCEPTED BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE YOU, WE NEVER DID, WE NEVER WILL AND QUITE HONESTLY YOU SCARE US WITH YOUR WEIRDNESS AND YOUR THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX AND ALL. BY THE WAY, PLEASE DON'T EVER COME INTO A SUBWAY AGAIN, OR FOR THAT MATTER READ A SCHOLASTIC BOOK. WE DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED IN ANY WAY WITH YOU. NOW PLEASE, IF YOU DON'T MIND, GO AWAY!

I personally don't feel that Subway or Scholastic were trying to discriminate against us. I feel that they just had a really poor copywriter, along with a less than stellar editor who didn't catch this mistake.. umm, er, mistakes if you count the misspellings. The marketing director probably should take their share of the blame for not doing a little research before hand... but all in all, I think they got together and wanted to give some playground equipment to a school. Instead of simply specifying that the Grand Prize must go to a school to be enjoyed by many children, the covered that base by saying No Homeschools! And the rest is some really ugly history.

I'm sure that Subway recieved from very civil, informative letters from homeschoolers stating that we are sure this was not meant to be a slight on the homeschool community and that there were many ways in which the grand prize could be awarded to a homeschooler's support group, community center or homeschool athletic association, etc.... I am equally sure that Subway also recieved many more shrill letters demanding that homeschoolers be included, and informing them that they were obnoxious twits who don't have a heart, can't spell, and that their $5 foot long commercials are stupid, and that Quiznos employees could beat Subway employees in an arm wrestling contest any day of the week. They might have even told the Subway franchise owners that they all had BO and bits of spinach in their teeth. Whatever they wrote, my feeling is that they did not represent homeschoolers well.

So then, stage two of this controversy erupted. Homeschooler against Homeschooler. Denim jumpers being torn, Saxon Math books slammed against heads, Cuisinare Rods thrown through the air willy nilly... Ok, not really, we are a BIT more civilized that that... (but not much). Some homeschoolers thought it more than suspious that Subway, Scholastic and SATAN all begin with the same letter, while others, thought that this was an innocent mistake that needs to be addressed but in a respectful way, while still others simply thought everyone else needed to get a life.

Where do I fit in? Well, let's put it this way. I have no qualms eating at Subway because I don't think they meant to offend us in anyway. But on the other hand, I don't exactly think we should sit around and do nothing. Educating Subway and thus the world (because we all know what kind of impact Subway has, huh?) that homeschoolers are here and growing in numbers and should be included in their demographics is not a bad thing.

A friend wrote on her blog that this was basically a bunch of silliness to her, since she was homeschooled in the "dark ages" when they weren't allowed into any contests at all. She went on to state that their are more important battles to fight, (for instance, actual kids being taken away from actual parents because they actually homeschooled.) I see her point. I really do, but I also see that these tiny battles with Subway and those that have gone before with companies like Staples, where homeschoolers can now get teacher's discounts, are what really brought us out of those Dark Ages.

To ignore a slight starts us on a slippery slope, BUT, we have to be smart and not paranoid. We need to not be so offended all the time. AND let me just add this... to those who were offended and raised the huge stink, IF Subway opens up the contest to include you, you better enter! Nothing angered me more when my boys were little and still getting used to that whole sharing thing, than when one would fight the other over a toy, and then when they got it, they DIDN'T PLAY WITH IT!!!! They just simply didn't want their brother to have it. That's when I implemented the rule that if you were so upset that your brother is playing with a toy that you want, that you are willing to throw a fit that neighbors a mile away can hear, then obviously that toy means more to you than it possibly could to anyone else in the world, so you may have the toy BUT, you can only play with it for the rest of the day and nothing else, for you obviously love it so. Fights over toys became a thing of the past...

OK, now on to Case #2

This one is bit different from Case #1 in that this makes me angry! Or outraged. Maybe incensed is the word. Spitting mad!... You know, I'm not sure a word exists to describe my reaction to the events that transpired in this next story.

It's probably best that you read the news account yourself, if you haven't already. I'll wait.

So, do you have a word for how mad you are? I am at once, both heart broken for the boy and outraged with the teacher, that words escape me.

Sure, this story hits closer to home because Asperger's has touched my family. But even if we take that element of the story out, this teachers conduct was still completely and utterly WRONG! And not just for the child that was voted out of his class, but for the children that were asked to do the voting.

That teacher (which is far too honorable a title for her) taught the children in her class that day that bullying was acceptable. That looking down on others who are different is acceptable. That pointing out flaws instead of finding good is acceptable. That humiliation is a fun game and acceptable. To turn on your friends to follow the crowd is acceptable.

I can't even imagine how I would feel if my child was the one voted out of the class, but if my child was encouraged to vote in this scenario I would be livid. These are not the values I want my children to learn. I understand the vote was 14-2. To the two students who refused to bow to peer pressure and do what was right, and to their parents... I applaud you. To the other fourteen... well, you never should have been put in this situation, that most adults aren't even mature enough to handle. I can only pray that this school system makes sure this woman is not ever allowed to influence young minds with her poisonous toxin again!

So, it's clear how I feel about that one, isn't it. I have homeschooled my son who is mildy affected with Asperger's with great success. Homeschooling has allowed me to teach to his strengths. I have been able to point out all that is right with him and talk about all the special gifts and talents that God put in him. In most traditional school settings, kids like him would constantly be reminded that there is something WRONG.. a learning DISABILITY. This is not how I think of my child and he has proved that there IS NOTHING WRONG, and that he has NO DISABILITY.

So my advice to this mother is homeschool if you can. Give your child the one on one that he craves. Point out all that is good within him and he will begin to believe it again. Sure, you may not be able to enter a Subway Essay Contest, but in the long run, how much will that matter.