Saturday, March 22, 2008

Lessons Learned from 'Nilla

  • Friends who get new puppies like to show them off.
  • These friends should be avoided.
  • Because Puppy Fever is very contagious.
  • 11 year old boys are especially vulnerable.
  • Once an 11 year old boy catches puppy fever, he can only say "puppy".
  • ... even in his sleep.
  • ... until he figures out how to say, "I'll do all the work"
  • Soft hearted moms who have a touch of Puppy Fever believe this.
  • Puppy fever causes these moms to forget the daily arguments over who is going to feed the older dog who's Not A Puppy Anymore.
  • Puppy Fever engulfs entire families in less than 24 hours.
  • Except for the one teenager who is perfectly happy with his Not A Puppy Anymore.
  • No one listens to teenager when he tries to talk sense into all the Puppy Fever sufferers.
  • Puppy Fever becomes critical when you are watching Labrador Puppies playing together.
  • Puppy Fever becomes terminal when a Lab Puppy jumps in your lap and falls asleep.
  • Lab Puppies chew on seat belts.
  • Lab Puppies chew on 8 year old Labs.
  • Lab Puppies can turn a perfectly calm, well behaved 8 year old Lab into a Grumpy Old Dog.
  • Lab Puppies chew on shoes.
  • Lab Puppies chew on toes.
  • Lab Puppies chew on furniture.
  • Lab Puppies can somehow make teenagers immune to Puppy Fever start to fall in love with them.
  • Lab Puppies chew on Wii Game cords.
  • Teenagers can fall out of love with Puppies as quickly as they fell in love with them.
  • Lab Puppies pee.
  • A Lot!
  • Like every 30 minutes or so! Seriously!
  • 11 Year Old boy keeps his end of the bargain and chases Puppy around house with Paper Towels.
  • Fortunately Lab Puppy Pee doesn't really smell.
  • Lab Puppy Poo, on the other hand, is toxic!
  • 11 Year old boys don't have to clean up the poo!
  • Lab Puppies chew on cook books.
  • Lab Puppies pee on dirty clothes.
  • Lab Puppies chew on dirty clothes.
  • It is virtually impossible to completely puppy proof a home.
  • Grumpy Old Dogs don't like to share their toys.
  • Grumpy Old Dogs don't like to share their people.
  • Grumpy Old Dogs don't like to share their space.
  • Grumpy Old Dogs are generally grumpy.
  • Lab Puppies don't sleep as much as you might think.
  • Lab Puppies give 11 Year Old boys, who have claimed full responsibility, nervous breakdowns.
  • 11 Year Old boys hearts break when they realize they can't handle all the responsibility that comes with a puppy.
  • Moms and Dads hearts break when they see 11 year old boys with broken hearts.

'Nilla (Dillon named her because she was white, like Vanilla) is a beautiful, smart puppy. She will make someone a perfect dog. But even though she was cute as all get out, we just could not fit her into our busy family. Jim and I are kicking ourselves for not realizing this before we brought her home.. but, on the other hand, she taught Dillon exactly how much work Puppies are. And they should never be acquired on impulse. 'Nilla is now back with her littermates, awaiting another family who can handle her and give her all the time she deserves. Dillon lost a nights sleep and a little piece of his heart... But he gained a huge lesson in responsibility. He made the decision to give her up, knowing it was the best thing for her and our family.. even though his heart just wanted to snuggle with her forever. Jim and I are very proud of him. And our family will always remember the 24 hours we shared with 'Nilla. I'm still finding places she peed and things she chewed!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Nicknames and promises to blog

ComfyDenim has a great blog post about renaming things right now. And tonight, while IM'ing with another friend about the virtues of my unschooling-esque lifestyle, I have been renamed. My new moniker is "Melanie the academiclessness misspellfulling pummeller". (But only because it is so easy to misspell words like academiclessness when you make them up yourself!)

I have some blog posts rolling around my heart right now, but first I must get my family healthy! Or at least in bed. Pray for my dear Hubby who is now entering his second month of some kind of death flu/pneumonia! He is heating the house nicely, burning at a balmy 103 degrees. And I can only say he picked a fine time to develop a deep distrust of doctors. But he has many prayers being lifted up on his behalf, and he is particularly fond of the Great Physician.

I promise to blog more very soon.. maybe even vlog!

Melanie the academiclessness misspellfulling pummeller

Sunday, March 02, 2008

In Flu Enza

I remember a joke from my childhood about a fly named Enza... and the punchline was "In flu Enza". Come to think of it, maybe it wasn't so much a joke as it was a play on words.. and not a particularly humorous one at that. Actually, nothing is particularly humorous right now because 3 out of 4 family members here have INFLUENZA!

Jim, who is by far the worst case in the house AND just recovering from pneumonia, went to Urgent Care today to be told he would simply have to wait it out. It's the flu and since Jim has been sick for over 48 hours, it's too late for any of the antivirals.

So we are on our own, coughing in chorus, until we all wish we could pass out, just so things would be a little more quiet.

We are desperate for a coughing remedy and have decided that modern day medicine hasn't come up with anything that is even remotely helpful.. so we are going after old wives tales. You know, like sleeping with a bar of soap keeps you from getting leg cramps. My grandmother swears by this one.

Tonight it's Vicks. But not in the traditional sense. I am going to smear it on my feet. I don't know why this works, but my fever addled brain doesn't care. I can't think of anything I wouldn't smear on my feet if there is a chance it will stop my coughing. (I'm sure I'll regret typing that sentence later.)

I'll let you know if the Vicks worked.. but just in case it doesn't, what old coughing remedies have been handed down from generation to generation in your family? Leave me a comment, and I promise to try it.. unless it involves eating or drinking something really nasty. I mean, I did say I'd smear it on my feet.. but I never promised to eat or drink anything!