Tuesday, August 30, 2005


I don't procrastinate... but I plan to in the future.

Ok, I might have a smidge of procrastination problem. You might notice that I registered this blog in February of 2003, and yet my first post was just 3 days ago.. TWO AND ONE HALF YEARS LATER!!!!!... I don't mean to procrastinate...but it seems to be the only thing I do in a timely manner.

Recently on one of my loops, everyone was talking about their office space. I took a good look at the corner I call an office and cringed just a bit. It was a mess. Actually, that's too generous. It had a nice base layer of mess, topped with many piles of chaos. It's not a pleasant place to be, and yet I seem to spend a huge percentage of the day there.. never really accomplishing anything. In addition to my procrastinating talents, I'm also an avid excuse maker. It is not long before I decide the reason for my office junk pile is that I never actually unpacked from our recent move. And when I say "recent" I mean over a year ago. In fact, this might not be so much procrastination as preparation. In the 13 years Jim and I have been married, we have moved 8 times. I figure another move is just around the corner and I will be ready for it.

Well, I don't know if tonight was a battle with procrastination or just an innate inability to be that prepared... whatever the reason, I finally unpacked my office. I sorted, filed, tossed, rearranged until I found that my chair could actually roll across the floor. I knew it had wheels, but I was hopelessly pile locked until tonight.

I'm thrilled. My space is well, spacious.. and I'm pretty sure I can still find things tomorrow. Unfortunately, with all the de-piling, it appears I destroyed the hidey hole of a mouse. He crawled through the office after all was said and filed, searching earnestly. If I could speak squeak, I'm sure he was saying, "I know the pile was here when I left... and me, without pile insurance!!!"

Here's the thing.. I'm not sure I want an office mate, so I suppose I will put out a mousetrap... but maybe tomorrow.

Saturday, August 27, 2005


Although I registered this blog long ago, I have fought the blog. I have wrestled with feelings of inadequacy and wondered why anyone would care to read what I have to say. These thoughts are all the more suprising when one considers that I call myself a writer. Now, I know that there are topics on which I have volumes to write... marriage, parenting, homeschooling, and dream chasing, but what do I really have to say in a blog. Does anyone really want to read about my day to day life and what challenges I face. Everyone has their own life and their own challenges to deal with....but maybe they want to escape theirs by reading about mine.

I don't know what direction this blog will take. It's too soon to tell. Honestly, I will be pleased if I post again before I forget the URL!

I'm not going to write about what I did today nor will I bore you with the details of my latest trip to the grocery store. Actually, for this first post, I would like to share something I wrote after my uncle's funeral last December. This was inspired by the actual events leading up to and during the funeral. It was so precious that my aunt asked me to put it on paper. It is true what the song by Jars of Clay says...

"I will sing of your mercy
that leads me from
valleys of sorrow
to rivers of joy"

by Melanie Walenciak for the family of Charles Wehnes

It’s been said that God is in the details.

It was a just a tiny little detail but it was important to Sydney. She needed a very special teddy bear for her PePaw and it needed to have wings like an angel. Sydney knew exactly what the bear should look like and she knew she would have to build it herself.

Her PePaw was a man driven by details. From the best lanes and shortcuts to drive to the perfect way to wind an extension cord, his head was full of details. But in the end, only one detail mattered…and he had to find a way to share it with his family.

He tried telling them, but his voice was too weak to express the passion and strength of it. It’s not as if they didn’t know. It was obvious and he had said it countless times before but it was the most important detail of all and he wanted to make sure they would never forget it. The cancer had stolen his strength but not his resolve. As his voice faded away, he would mouth the words or use his hands to make sure they understood. He knew that if they could understand the depth of this one detail, they would find comfort. They would never feel alone, even though he had to leave.

Now that he was gone there were more details than ever, and Sydney knew that above all else, her PePaw needed that bear. Her persistence paid off and on the day of the funeral, the precious winged bear lay on the pillow next to him.

It was a beautiful day and many came to honor the great man with the huge heart. It felt like he was watching, saddened by the pain his leaving had caused, but so proud of the strength his family displayed. He wanted more than ever to make sure they really understood the most important detail of his life.

Soon the time had come to close the casket. This painful goodbye which seemed so one-sided was becoming all too real. They knew this was the last time they would see him in this life and they were not ready for this moment to be over. Clutching one another for support, they walked away unable to control the tears.

But just as the casket closed, the little angel bear began to speak. It seems Sydney had given this bear more than wings. She had also given him a voice. “I LOVE YOU!” shouted the bear. “I LOVE YOU!”

For a split second sorrow turned to joy, and sounds of laughter could be heard. It was his favorite sound.

“I think they understand now!” he said and ran into the embrace of the Father… the One who is in the details