Saturday, February 11, 2006

It's the thought that counts


Valentine's Day hasn't even arrived and he has already shocked me this year... really and truly. And it wasn't diamonds, flowers or candy. It was a phone call.

And I'm not the one he called.

He called another dad in the homeschool group to see if they could arrange a night to take all of us, oh-so-deserving moms out to dinner.

I will wait while those of you who know my husband get up off the floor.

Let me explain. My hubby is a hard worker... but not much of a player. He works about 30 hours a day (OK, that MIGHT be an exaggeration) and although he spends quality time with me and the boys, it is certainly not quantity time. He would love to, but his business is more of a one man show and it takes all he's got just to stay afloat.

Because of his work schedule, he is known for being a bit anti-social. He shows up for the all the important events.. school plays, graduations, and the like... but he's not much for other types of get togethers. I'm the social butterfly.. He's the busy bee.

So you can imagine my surprise when I find out that he has put the wheels in motion to plan a big social gathering. I immediately headed outside to search for flying pigs.

Jim had the idea, and that was huge. Two of the other dads made the plans. We would meet at a restaurant tonight and have a great time. All seemed right in the world. Until last night. Ok, it started before last night with one sick boy, 2 grandparents(aka babysitters) with an uncertain schedule, the start of a kidney infection, one bad back, and a partridge in a pear tree.

By this morning most everything had been worked out. The boy, although not 100%, felt well enough to go hang out at his granparents, who were actually going to be home. Thanks to a good overdose of cranberry juice, my kidneys were in tip top shape.. but that back.... it was worse than ever.

Hubby's back has been a source of trouble for the past 9 years. After falling off a painting scaffold, he has endured all sorts of treatments... from pain pills to experimental surgery. Most days it's manageable.. but in the last few weeks, he has been down with severe pain about 3 times.

He was down for the battle today. He wanted to take me out for an evening of laughing and eating and eating and laughing... He tried to pretend it was ok... but I knew something was wrong when he came into the kitchen this morning to help make pancakes. He hobbled into the kitchen just long enought to tell me that he had to go sit back down... and with much wincing and grimacing he hobbled back to bed.

But soon he was up again... A couple of Advil and one shower later, he was ready to go. I told mom and dad we were bringing the boys and we headed to the car.

Now, this winter has been unseasonably warm. Most days you could sunbathe or even swim. Today of all days it drops below freezing. As soon as we walked outside, Jim's muscles felt the cold and tensed up, contorting his back in all kinds of wrong ways. Still he moved on. A friend who lives close by brought a walker over to see if that helped. Not really. When we realized there was simply no easy to way to fold him up into the car, we decided to surrender.

Jim could only mouth "I'm sorry" to me. I am too.. but not because we missed the shindig.. but because I can't stand to see him hurt.

So our Valentines Day date was a little like the gift of the magi. He sacrificed his "anti-social buzy bee" status to take his "social butterly" out. I sacrificed the evening out so he could stay home and recuperate. (OK, if you look really hard and close one eye and squint the other you can kind of see the Gift of the Magi in there)

Jim will always have a hard time topping our first Valentines Day together... That day, he cooked me dinner, sang me a song he had written for me, and PROPOSED, all just two weeks after our first date. This Valentines Day comes close. He thought of me and what I would like to do.. and he did his best to make it happen. It's the thought that counts.

Well, it counts up to a point. The real Valentines Day is still 3 days away. Plenty of time to get to feeling better and come up with another "thought" Until then, while he's sitting in his comfy recliner.. I"m ordering takeout and forcing him to watch a chick flick with me... So say a prayer for him... oh and pray for his back too!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mel, yes, it is the thought that counts. Jim loves you very much, and boy! does this show it!

Dianne

Peculiar Blogs said...

this is a beautiful post, it made me cry. I am so sorry you guys missed Jim's special night for you, but I love the Gift of the Magi reference...you are so right.

vintagebelfast said...

I would really love to get into touch with all of you, assuming of course, that you don't mind. I miss everyone and I'd love to meet up somewhere so we couldn all get familiar once again as a family.

my cell number is 817-723-6976 and my email addy is dallyyy @ hotmail dot com. I really hope I get to hear from you sometime soon aunt Melanie...please sent all my love to the boys and to my favorite uncle jim. thanks!!!!

love,
Kimberly Yarbray